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Numerous musicians sing about it. Countless poets wrote about it. Some philosophers philosophise about it. Almost all human beings crave for it on a daily basis. What is the ‘It” that I am talking about? Love.
What is love? How do you see love?
Every individual has his or her view on love. Let’s spend some time to see how the general public understands love.
- One of the Many Views on Love
Emotion
Many people see love as an emotion. However, it is not purely an emotion. It is very true that love is an extremely strong emotion, but it is clearly more than that. If our love is purely based on our emotion, when the feeling is gone, this so-called love would be over.
Most lovers get married because they thought they were madly in love. Sadly, many marriages have ended up in divorce. Marriages started off purely with emotion and sustained by solely feelings would often end up on a sour note.
Fuzzy Feeling
Countless folks view love as some kind of fuzzy feeling. You may say, “Huh?”
For example, if a teenage daughter told her parents that she was madly in love with a boy. She said she was so in love with him that she wanted to marry him as soon as she could. Her parents asked her to elaborate on her sudden news. Her immediate response was: “It is a fuzzy feeling that I cannot describe in words!” If you were her parents, I am sure you would be very worried.
Many individuals regard love as a fuzzing feeling. They think they cannot define it and put it into words.
Need
Almost every person regard love as a life necessity. Many regard love as oxygen. As all living humans need oxygen to survive and thrive, we need love on a 24/7 basis. Based on this rationale, John Lennon and Paul McCartney wrote the song “All You Need Is Love”. And for this reason, people think love would make them feel good. Under the banner of love, individuals believe they have the freedom of doing anything they like.
It is very true that we need to love and to be loved. However, love must have its boundaries.
Sexual Inclination
Sadly, uncountable people define love primarily in sexual terms and see it as constantly taking, but seldom as giving.
Some men tell their girlfriends that they love them, but in fact they simply want to have sex with them. That is not love. That is just a selfish thought of having their sexual desires and impulses gratified.
Fearful Clinging
Certain kind of love can be seen as fearful clinging. It can be regarded as a superficial kind of love.
Out of fear of loss of their loved ones, and overwhelming dependency on them, girlfriends and boyfriends, husbands and wives, are bonded to their loved ones.
Funny enough, the Bible says, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” (1 John 4:18 ESV)
Obligation
Some men and women see love as some sort of obligation. They care for their loved ones purely out of obligation.
In some marriages, husbands and wives stay together for the sake of the children. Sadly, they don’t love one another any longer.
- One of the Many Sides of Love Is Self-love
Love is a vast topic to cover and there are so many aspects that are worthy for us to consider. Before we can understand the breadth and depth of love, we must understand how love is related to us as an individual. So let’s first talk about the aspect of self-love.
Human’s Self-love
The apostle Paul says, “No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.” (Ephesians 5:29 NLT) Like Paul said, it is understandable that people love their own selves. Normal folks do not hate themselves. Self-hatred is a pathology.
Human’s self-love can be expressed in the following four forms. First, self-love as a human’s natural inclination. I call it natural self-love. Second, self-love has its social face. As for the extroverts who love themselves, they gain their energy and happiness from connecting with or helping others. I call it social self-love. Third, self-love can be harmful and destructive to oneself or others. I call it sinful self-love. Fourth, this kind of self-love is godly in nature. I call it godly self-love.
Let me speak to you a bit more about these four forms of self-love.
Natural Self-love
People do not have to learn how to love themselves. All human beings are born with the trait of loving their own selves. Babies naturally love themselves and children do too.
Having said that, some unfortunate children around the World do not know how to love themselves. Sadly, so many babies are born into broken families. From day one of their existence on earth, these children have to encounter all sorts of abuses. Instead of receiving loving remarks and affirmations from their parents, all they could hear were sulky and negative remarks. Understandably, most of these children would not know how to love themselves. The worst scenario is that some children pathologically hate themselves.
As God’s created beings, all humans are born with the inclination to love themselves, prize themselves, acknowledge their own worth, and put a high value upon their lives. All in all, self-love in human beings are natural and good.
Social Self-love
Like I mentioned earlier, some outgoing people like to draw energy and happiness from others. For example, some people feel good about themselves by being good and generous to the people around them. This is an expression of self-love.
In short, a person’s self-love can extend to others, for this kind of self-love is compounded in nature, that is to say, some people would go beyond their own restricted field so that they could connect other people.
As people pity for the suffering of others, they love to do something about it. Throughout Church history, there are many stories of this nature. I assume you have heard of the Salvation Army before. William and Catherine Booth were moved by compassion for the churchless slum-dwellers of London. Thus they began a mission in Whitechapel in 1865. Later in 1878, it was named the Salvation Army.
Philanthropists care for and seek to promote the welfare of others. Lord Shaftesbury was a committed Christian. Also, he was an ardent social reformer and philanthropist. On many social issues, he campaigned for the welfare of people having metal illness, factory workers, mill workers, miners and boy chimney sweepers. These were the many things that he did in his lustrous life.
In the context of others’ welfare, social self-love is a very good thing.
Sinful Self-love
As children, most of us were often reminded to behave ourselves in the public. There is a good reason behind it because well-bred social behaviour is meant to reduce the friction of human interaction. On the contrary, a lack of consideration for others would create conflict. Sadly, more and more people neglect the importance of public behaviour in today’s culture. Like it or not, we are living in a “Me-first” world. The “Me-first” culture continues to grow in an alarming pace!
Have you ever met people talking loudly in public places? Have you ever bumped into people listening to loud music without earphones on the train or in the gym? I am sure many people like me have been in such a situation. Lack of consideration can be seen as a product or by-product of sinful self-love.
Nowadays, I try to limit myself watching news about politics, and there is a major reason behind it, because some politicians make me sick. Out of their deceitful and foul mouths, I simply cannot believe what I hear. Also, I cannot understand why numerous individuals still stand behind and support these politicians. To be honest, I don’t have much faith in politics, because many countries are governed by egoistic self-loved rulers. Please excuse me for saying this, some politicians and leaders are driven by their sinful self-love and egoistical desires.
For the sake of loving oneself, some people don’t mind hurting others. Like I told you, this is sinful self-love.
Godly Self-love
It is natural for a person to seek for personal happiness. Self-love is natural. Like I said earlier, there are different types of self-love, and the highest form is godly self-love.
As human beings, we should love ourselves. One noteworthy point is that a person’s born-again experience will not eradicate his or her self-love. However, in order for a person to fully understand and experience the essence of self-love, one must be born-again. Not until a person is born again, he or she cannot live out love to the fullest. Without the new life in Jesus Christ, a person would not exercise self-love according to God’s intent.
God’s Self-love
Does God love Himself? The answer is yes. God is a triune God. In a simple sentence, there is only one true God, but God has three persons: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Definitely, there is love between the three persons.
In John 10:17, Jesus says, “For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again.” In John 14:31, Jesus Christ stated that He loved the Father.
All in all, God loves Himself. Within the three persons of the Godhead, there is mutual love between the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. One important thing is that God not only loves Himself and He extends His love to His creation.
- One of the Most Important Aspect of Love Is Sacrificial Love
The Origin of Love
In the ancient Greek language, there were four different words that depict love. The first word (eraō) speaks of fervent longings, especially in the context of sexual passion. The second term (phileō) is used to describe friendship. The third word (stergō)portrays benevolent devotion, especially among family members. For example, the natural affection between a mother and a child. The fourth word (agapaō) is loving kindness. This term is used by the apostle John in 1 John 4:7–11 to describe God’s love.
The words of 1 John 4:7–11 is a good commentary on love. This is what verse 8 says, “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4:8 ESV)
God is love, but love is not God. When the Bible says, God is love, it speaks of His quality, character, and activity. In short, in all that God did, does and doing, is loving activity. Whether God creates, or rules, or judges, He does so in love. It is His nature to love.
God is the origin of love (1 John 4:7). Moreover, God took the initiative to reveal His love to humankind through the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ on the cross (1 Jn 4:9–10).
The Characteristics of God’s Love
The apostle Paul is a good exemplar for all the pastors, Christian leaders and volunteers. As a normal practice, he often prayed for the believers. In the letter to the Ephesians, he prayed that the believers could comprehend how wide, how long, how high, and how deep God’s love is (Ephesians 3:18–19).
As God’s love is inexhaustible, I pray that you would understand and experience more of His love.
Redemptive in Nature
Concerning God’s love, there is so much to talk about, but let’s focus on one aspect of His love, that is, the redemptive nature of His love. John 3:16 is one of the good samples. It says, “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16 NLT) In plain and simple terms, God loves us so much that He wants to save us. As human beings, we have sinned against God and offended others. The most beautiful thing is that God wants to reconcile with us.
If you want to reconcile with God, there are three simple steps involved. You can call it the ABC’s of salvation. A stands for admit. Before we can become a follower of Jesus Christ, we must admit that we have sinned against God (Romans 3:23). B is believe. Believe Jesus Christ is God’s Son and Saviour is the second step. C is commit. Based on Acts 2:38 and Romans 10:9, you must take the step of repentance and commit your life to follow Jesus Christ. Commit is the third step.
Self-sacrificial in Nature
God loves humankind so much that He gave His only Son to them. Within the God of triunity, God the Father, Jesus Christ the Son, the Holy Spirit, the three persons of God are living in loving fellowship. However, for the good of humanity, God the Father was willing to give away His Son. On the first Christmas Day, God’s Son was born as a baby in a manger, and He lived on this earth for thirty-three years. When the appointed time came, Jesus Christ died on the cross and rose from the dead, so that all believers will reconcile with God. In simple terms, God’s love is self-sacrificial in nature.
After becoming a father, I understand more about the sacrificial love of my parents. For the benefit of their children, most good parents would sacrifice for their sons and daughters. Since after becoming a Christian, only then I begin to understand and appreciate more of the sacrificial love of my parents and God.
Gracious in Nature
Lovers often exchange gifts. Loving family members exchange gifts. Boyfriends and girlfriends who are madly in love exchange gifts. I could still remember the purse that I bought for my wife (then girlfriend). Although It was not an expensive brand, it cost me almost one-tenth of my meagre monthly salary. The point I want to make is love is gracious in nature.
What is God’s grace to you? In a simple sentence, no humans on earth ever deserve God’s favour, blessing, goodness and kindness. God’s gracious love for humankind is one-sided. Although humans don’t deserve God’s flavour and blessing, He freely gave us His Son. God gifted us His Son. Jesus Christ was the greatest gift that God gave the world. God’s love for humanity is gracious in nature.
God loves humanity and wants them to respond to His gracious love. Are you a Christian? If not, please consider to become a believer in Jesus Christ. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, share God’s gracious love with the people around you.
Kenneth Thumb Ministry 譚約珥事工 